WE MOVED DUDE

moved

2011-04-28T15:02:00.002+08:00

moved
http://incaseigetalzheimers.tumblr.com/

ORIENTATION 2010

2010-02-04T23:04:00.002+08:00

today's the last day of Orientation 2010.

AND IT WAS AWESOME!!

i mean, yea there were screw-ups and all. but without these screw-ups and all, i don't think this orientation would have as much impact on me and all. 'cause of the screw-ups, i learnt to work better with people, to handle problems in a better way and stuff. like seraiously.

i mean, a perfect orientation? what the hell do you gain from it? yea, sure it'll be fun and smooth and all. but without the hiccups and stuff, we won't be able to learn more about each other.

and now that it's actually over, i feel.. kind of sad. i joined Council for this. and i waited for 1 whole year. and the six days just flew pass me. i won't make any excuses for myself, but i didn't really honor my own promise. i wasted the past six days not having a firm grasp on reality. i had fun and didn't savor it. now my memory's failing me (as always) and i'm afraid i won't be able to remember all of it in time to come. it's bittersweet now that Orientation is over.

BUT IT WAS STILL FREAKING FUN 'CAUSE OF:

Marcus Sia Run Da Chong Xin Yu Priscilla Tay Foo Yong Sheng Aloysius Faith Leong Mark Ong Barry Daryl Ng Wee Kiat Benedict Chong Daniel Lee Woon Loong Melody Michael Lee Sherllie Kartika Wee Seng Yin Kelly Yeoh Su Ann Jermaine Peh Ter Yao Xiang Chan Wanting Tan Jiayu Phan Qixian Rika Selviana Daniel Chay
and all the other councillors too!!
the Draco people taught me many things. and i don't ever want to forget them!! i admit at some time or other i was kind of pissed at them and i'm sure they were pissed at me too. but they taught me a FRIGGING load of stuff. GATHERING PLEASE!!!!

last but not least, i found out that i love SRJC Student Council '09. we're a bunch of fools who screw things up together. it's not like one person screw things up and everyone blames him or her. but when one of us screws things up, we all share to take the blame. it's just like we're different parts of a body that comes together to work properly. without any one of us, it's pretty likely that we'll fail. they too taught me truckloads of stuff throughout the year and brought me out of my comfort zone. and i cried too. kind of. during the Council debrief. at that moment of time, i didn't feel like we were separated by anything. we were just like 1 big house, 1 big family. and we looked out for one another.

i had always wanted to make a difference to people's life 'cause i had never made a difference before and now these two groups of people have made me feel that however insignificant, i had done something. even if it does not last long, it was there. and for me, it always will be there.

to anyone who's reading this, i just want to say Thank You! for everything you've brought into my life.

Thank You!!!

2009-12-30T22:24:00.002+08:00

today went out with the old gang. DANG FRIGGING FUN. haha.

there was me, jinle, isaac, xianda and yongjin (which was a dang big surprise). jiale actually said he could make it, but he didn't turn up (no surprise there). david had training (again) and desmond has something on. so they didn't make it.

me, isaac and jinle went to pool 1st. actually wanted to pool at the yio chu kang grassroots place, but then they didn't allow people wearing slippers to play there, so jinle couldn't go in. so, we decided to move!

we went over to ang mo kio, near the s11 there. i never knew there was pool there man! real big place. i lost to isaac but i won jinle (barely), but all in all, it was real fun. been ages since i played anyways.

the rest of the guys came after that, and there were a few other guys like kennard, kelvin, cheehou and some guy whom i can't remember the name. we watched Avatar. it's a real nice movie. like seraiously. the action scene's are real awesome, graphics are good, the music and sound blasted me away, and the best part will be the seamless coordination between the CG characters and the actors. they were seraiously dang frigging good.

then went dinner. yesterday was popeyes (after bballing with sec 2 classmates) and today's dinner was KFC. jinle keep complaining he's fat, so he ask me go run tomorrow morning. AT 9!! so early right?? i'll try not to be late.

uh so, that was my day. how was yours?

*copy and paste from above*

2009-12-24T23:51:00.004+08:00

sometimes, i look around myself and when i see the things i see, i just get so jealous. people around me all have their many friends and families. and they're happy.

tomorrow's christmas. and i'll be alone unlike the majority of the people i know. they'll all be happily celebrating Christmas with utmost cheer with friends and family. how nice eh? i wish it'll happen to me too. last year's was real great. and i know it won't happen again, so i'll have to settle with the norm huh?

maybe i'll go town. just to people-watch. even if i'm alone, it won't feel like it. right? i sure do hope so.

or maybe i'll just stay at home curled up in my bed sleeping the way away. maybe i've been a bad person this year, which also means i've been a bad person all throughout my life except for last year. or maybe i'm asking too much. but does it really matter? life still has to go on. and it's not like i've never spent christmas alone or wishing that i have friends or family with me, having a party or something and have fun.

everybody's sending out christmas greetings and whatnot now.

so whoever who's reading this(that is if anyone does..),

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! HAVE FUN!!!

afterall, me being alone doesn't mean anyone else has to.

not that anybody will bother bout me.

2009-12-23T20:39:00.002+08:00

was at Regina's house for Rockband today. real fun. even for music idiots like me. so you should try it out too.

me and Jessica were the first ones there despite Jessica being late(no surprise there). when we reached regina's house, her brother opened up the door for us(i know, i know. this sounds REAL trivial) 'cause Regina went down to fetch a girl called JiaJia. although i'm pretty sure that's not her real name(i think i forgot her real name). at least no JiaJia. should be Jia-something. haha. she's one year older and just graduated from SRJC. so yea. kind of like our senior. then Regina went down to fetch Ona(did she?) but yea, Ona also came. then Rockband. REAL FUN. but also very tiring.

then halfway through Ms Chua called. shocked me half to death. i thought was some saleswoman. her voice is still as sharp as ever. she ask me work for her. so i agreed.

now rushing homework. LET'S DO GEOGRAPHY!!

2009-12-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

it's never me right? should have known.

i heard a chinese song today. part of the lyrics was something like "there would'nt be a difference in the world even if i didn't exist". you know, it's probably true. it's not like i really matter to anyone afterall.

wanted to write something here after i got home from Orchard after going out with laywoon. but was tired. so i'm only writing it now. actually, i'm bothering to write it all down so that i can remember my life when i look back at it. not like it's very nice and everything. but still.

there was a game facils training and OSL meeting in the morning. i'll be honest with you(i.e. myself) but, it was a real damn flop. like seriously. i'nm guessing only around half of everyone came. and then i missed the draco house meeting. figured that marcus never replied me once cause i was sending the messages to the wrong number all the while. clever right? so yea. didn't get to meet the draco OSLs. but i guess marcus can handle it fine on his own. oh yeah, did i mention the atrocious timing we had to report at? 6.45am!!

i was late. BUT only by 15 minutes.

went to Orchard at around 5.30? reach there around 6. Marvin was 'sposed to be there but laywoon said he went off with a few of his friends, their classmates. so yeah. she said she was angry but i don't think she is. girls. it's real hard to know what they're really thinking bout no?

then we walked around. literally. we walked round to 313 then we saw isaac. he was with a few of the dance people. then we walked back, like towards ION, then we walked to 313 and stuff. i forgot when we actually ate. but it was at that food court somewhere. sorry, i'm not really familiar with orchard. after that we walked more rounds. seriously, it was like we were on patrol or something. but we went lots of shops. but didn't buy nothing. i saw what i wanted. but didn't have cash. so it'll just have to wait. after that, we stopped by the flea market which was real small and where isaac said his friends had their stall at. then more rounds. like seriously. we went like 3 rounds at the basement level of ION(i think?) where there's all the jap snacks and we ended up not buying nothing. haha. stalled in the middle of Orchard to hear some Evangelist Free Church people sing too. was real nice. if there's remotely anything that'll make me a christian, it would be the songs. a girl would be nice. but yeah. you never get what you want in life. after that somerset and home.

then sleep.

or supposedly sleep.

but i couldn't sleep.

again.

2009-12-16T23:10:00.003+08:00

people-watching is fun.

kinds of let you be alone in an un-lonely way you know? so i'm going to go people-watching soon. since i can't see myself going out on a class outing or friends meet-up soon. i wish i had a chalet or a sleepover.

my fever just subsided but the block nose thing is just not going away. feels damn awful. and damn sian. at home. everyone's back from their SRGCEs too. kind of envy them. nevermind. i'll earn lots of money and go backpacking with people!! haha. just wish that day will come sooner.

I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS FRIGGING HOUSE.

they were shouting and screaming again. over some trivial matter of "DON'T COOK MY MAGGI MEE!!" or something like that. i can't believe how much they act like kids despite their age. picking at every little inconsequential thing. it's annoying and goddamn frustrating.

why can't i have a proper family??

i'm hooked on this.

Jay-Z (feat. Dr. Dre, Eminem, 50 Cent & Linkin Park) - Numb (remix)

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, You're Far Too Kind

[Chorus:]

Now Can I Get An Encore, Do You Want More

Cookin Raw With The Brooklyn Boy

So For One Last Time I Need Y'all To Roar

Now What The Hell Are You Waitin For

After Me, There Shall Be No More

So For One Last Time, Nigga Make Some Noise

[Verse 1:]

Who You Know Fresher Than Hov'? Riddle Me That

The Rest Of Y'all Know Where I'm Lyrically At

Can't None Of Y'all Mirror Me Back

Yeah Hearin Me Rap Is Like Hearin G. Rap In His Prime

I'm, Young H.O., Rap's Grateful Dead

Back To Take Over The Globe, Now Break Bread

I'm In, Boeing Jets, Global Express

Out The Country But The Blueberry Still Connect

On The Low But The Yacht Got A Triple Deck

But When You Young, What The Fuck You Expect? Yep, Yep

Grand Openin, Grand Closin

God Damn Your Man Hov' Cracked The Can Open Again

Who You Gon' Find Doper Than Him With No Pen

Just Draw Off Inspiration

Soon You Gon' See You Can't Replace Him

With Cheap Imitations For Dese Generations

[Chorus 1/2]

{What The Hell Are You Waiting Forrrr?}

[Verse 2:]

[Sighs:] Look What You Made Me Do, Look What I Made For You

Knew If I Paid My Dues, How Will They Pay You

When You First Come In The Game, They Try To Play You

Then You Drop A Couple Of Hits, Look How They Wave To You

From Marcy To Madison Square

To The Only Thing That Matters In Just A Matter Of Years (Yea)

As Fate Would Have It, Jay's Status Appears

To Be At An All-Time High, Perfect Time To Say Goodbye

When I Come Back Like Jordan, Wearin The 4-5

It Ain't To Play Games Witchu

It's To Aim At You, Probably Maim You

If I Owe You I'm Blowin You To Smithereeens

Cocksucker Take One For Your Team

And I Need You To Remember One Thing (One Thing)

I Came, I Saw, I Conquered

From Record Sales, To Sold Out Concerts

So Muh'fucker If You Want This Encore

I Need You To Scream, 'til Your Lungs Get Sore

Im Tired Of Being What You Want Me To Be

Feeling So Faithless Lost Under The Surface

Dont Know What You're Expecting Of Me,

Put Under The Pressure Of Walking In Your Shoes

And Every Step That I Take Is Another Mistake To You

And Every Second I Waste Is More Than I Can Take

Life Becomes So Numb,

I Cant Feel You There

Becomes So Tight So Much More Away

And Becoming This

All I Want To Do

Is Be More Like Me

And Be Less Like You

Life Becomes So Numb

Can I Get An Encore

Do U Want More?

Life Becomes So Numb

One Last Time I Need You To Roar

2009-12-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

Why?

'cause the sky's blue.

2009-12-07T00:08:00.002+08:00

am bored. so decided to blog. look's like this blog might get a life afterall. ahaha..

david's going to fly later in the morning at around 8~9 i think? that's if i remembered what deena told me. yangshuo people and laocai people also flying. lots of people suddenly gone. i wish i signed up for something too. oh well. it's too late for regrets.

oh yea. christmas is coming. and david's present haven't buy yet. lay woon's present also haven't buy yet. wish there would be a christmas party like last year. but probably not going to happen, what with everybody so busy and getting distant. oh ya. and jolene said something about celebrating hers, daphne's and david's birthday on the 21st together. even audrey remembered when david's birthday was. heh. i don't know why i'm so affected by all this birthday shit. maybe it's cause nobody actually remembered it very well and celebrated it with me except for a few of the SC people. haha. thanks man. normally people won't even bother bout mine. heh.

so since christmas is coming, i decided to make a wishlist(which no one will bother with and only serves to bring me disappointment) and a New Year's Resolution. SOON.

BON VOYAGE DAVID!!! and buy lots of stuff back ya?

but i think all these stuff are like, useless. 'course no one ever bothers reading anything here right? heh. i'm like talking to myself. bloody schizo.

2009-12-06T00:33:00.003+08:00

just got back from sending Isaac to Sydney for his dance trip. haha. very tired now but must wait for hair to dry. today i learnt a lot of things(like always, every time i go out and someone leaves it always happens).

there was this mother on the bus that i was taking on the way home who showed me how strong a mother can be for her child. the bus was damn crowded and it was very packed. her daughter was probably around 6 years old and she wanted to sleep. nobody let her have their seat(i was standing) so she had to carry her daughter. i thought she was going to alight soon but she didn't!! she took the bus for like 40 minutes, all the while carrying her child!! i don't think alot of people can carry a 10+ kg weight for like 40minutes straight right? but she did. it was damn awesome.

then i learnt never to regret the things that i never do. that's why now i'll do what i think is right(hopefully..) and don't hesitate and have regrets in the end.

we all only have 1 life.

live it.

don't live with it.

COOLSHIT MAN!! i came up with such a cool sounding phrase. AHAHAHA!!

remember to buy lots of stuff for us iz!!! and take care!!

2009-12-04T23:32:00.002+08:00

i was bored so i asked jinle, laywoon and grace this qustion on msn:

"eh i ask u, if u can use 5 words to describe me, what would u use?"

jinle:

-flirtatious

-listener

-tsunami

-smart

-lazy

laywoon:

1. FICKLE MINDED

2. GENEROUS

3. CARING

4. CALM

5. GENTLEMANLY

grace:

-RANDOM

-FUNNY

-CARING

-FRIENDLY

-NICE

heh. i think they're just trying to be nice people.

i feel like such a fucking anti-social.

the bloody david not online. and isaac still haven't reply me.

2009-12-04T22:55:00.001+08:00

everyone else but me. it always was like that, no?

heh.

freaking loner.

I can't confront you, I never could do...

That which might hurt you.

Try and be cool, when I say:

This way is-a-waterslide-away-from-me-to-chase-her-fuller-everyday! Hey!

So be cool.

2009-12-01T19:35:00.002+08:00

i had a dream when i was napping just now. felt dang real.

i was in poly(don't ask me how i knew, i just did) and my lessons had just ended. then came girl A and i held onto her hand. it was warm and tanned. and kind of comforting. i don't know how to describe it la. but just. yea. it felt really really really real. like i was really holding on to her hand. and then we had to take the bus to somebody's party(again, don't ask me how i knew. it's a frigging dream) and we saw 2 people whom we both knew. and it was raining, by the way. all the while, her hand was warm.

and jessica had to call and spoil that nice dream.

damned.

Creep - Radiohead

When you were here before,

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel,

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

I wish I was special

You're so fuckin' special

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,

I wanna have control

I want a perfect body

I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice

when I'm not around

You're so fuckin' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again

She's running out

She run run run run...

run... run...

Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so fuckin' special

I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

2009-11-09T23:20:00.000+08:00

the back of your head was made for the arch of my foot.

2009-11-03T22:02:00.003+08:00

i like lying on my bed doing nothing and just staring at the ceiling. i don't know why i suddenly want to type this. but it should be probably because i got nothing else inside my brain to say. it's feeling a bit empty today, so if you knock, you'll probably hear a hollow sound.

i want to lock my posts. like a lot people knowing too many things. i don't like it. feels too un-intimate. i don't know? and i'm starting to read too much into things. although i guess it's always been there, but yeah. first time i've actually admitted it? i don't know? too many things flying past. like rocket liddat sia.

argh.

what the hell am i typing?? i dunno. this is so like a schizo's blog post. yea. i think so too.

i'm mad.

mmhmm.

it's quiet at home when no one's shouting. sometimes it gets too quiet. it should be nice, but it just feels downright weird. like it's just too quiet. maybe that's why i don't like coming back home. i'd rather stay in school where there are people.

i'm ranting.

how can some people share things so freely? i don't understand. i don't understand a lot of things. and i don't like that. i don't like ranting too. makes me feel out of control. but i should have gotten used to it no? i want to talk to somebody. but there's like nobody. and i think my interpersonal skills suck. like SERIOUSLY SUCK. i want to talk. but i don't know what to talk about. maybe i just want to listen to somebody. maybe that'll make me feel like i'm actually worth something. that somebody would actually want to talk to me.

heh.

what the hell man.

The why? The who, what?

When and where and the how?

Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out

You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it

2009-11-02T19:27:00.002+08:00

i like taking long bus rides. i know it's random. but yea. i like taking long bus rides. it's soothing. kind of. not knowing where you're passing through. but you know where's the end. its just somewhere there, ain't it? it's kind of life. breezing through everything not knowing what you passed through, only knowing what the end is. that. last stop for one bus. first stop for another bus. ah. well. life's like that.

oh and i like sleeping alone on the bus. at the front. in those new buses. a lot space. and alone. where no one will want to squeeze in with you, like you're a leper or something.

ahaha.

erm.

ok.

by the way. i read a few things in this book i borrowed. it's called "a wild sheep chase" by Haruki Murakami. here's what was said "Speaking frankly and speaking the truth are two different things entirely. Honesty is to truth as prow is to stern. Honesty appears first and truth appears last. The interval between varies in direct proportion to the size of a ship. With anything of size, truth takes a long time in coming. sometimes it only manifests itself posthumously.". i'm only beginning to understand it, but yea. sounds true huh.

there was also this, something 'bout faults and chickens, "My biggest fault is that the faults i was born with grow bigger each year. It's like i was raising chickens inside me. The chickens lay eggs and the eggs hatch into other chickens, which then lay eggs. Is this any way to live a life? What with all the fault's i've got going. I have to wonder. Sure, i get by. But in th end,That's not the question, is it?". seriously. this book is awesome. lots of stuff. 'bout life and such.

So tell me is it right?

To feel like we're only getting smaller

And it's so hard to fight the feeling

But I'm only treading water

We've made a few mistakes, it's not worth it to say

2009-10-30T20:55:00.004+08:00

i was stupid last time. but i grew up. so i'm going to bother 'bout this fucking family anymore. after all, i've heard it all before. all the shit bout "shouldn't have given birth to you", "if only you could be just a little like your sister", "don't come home, just go die, then i can save money". whatever. i've had enough. and i'm not going to bother. i'm not going be angry. or sad. or anything. i've been through it all after all, it's just like routine duty now.

i'm feeling stupid now. i always knew didn't i? i always just tried to kid myself. bloody self-delusional fool. this always happens to me so why didn't i stop earlier. maybe i did. i told myself. but i guess it wasn't enough huh. should have like knocked my head on the wall like today. and i shouldn't have done it, not the head-banging part mind you. but something else. ah hell. why am i even typing out all these things. should just call twinkle friends huh. my new best friend. only person i can talk to now. pathetic right? now i'm like talking to myself. 'cause no one ever comes and read these stuff. but it's for the better. no one reading this, that is. means i can say whatever i like. not like i actually care anyways.

being random here. i want to shout. and to spar. i don't mind getting whacked. i've been whacked so many times inside it doesn't real hurt anymore. or that's what i tell myself. but isn't that like contrasting myself in some way?

argh.

mind in a whirl. just been thinking i've never been a nice guy, but that's who i am. right? never been a good friend either. or a good brother. or a good son. or a good anything. maybe a good trash. yea. but can trash be good? i don't know. i want to be something. to be someone. to matter. but i can't. so should i give up? niq was talking bout this guy whom he saw climb a hill even though he only had prosthetic legs. i have legs. so i shouldn't give up right? why am i asking myself for a reply? i already know my own answer.

"you're a coward. so just give up. it's no use no matter how hard you try. your life has sucked all this time. so what's the difference now? giving up would be so much easier and better in any and every way wouldn't it? spare others the trouble of talking to you and wasting time on you too."

"but there are others out there, worse off than me, no? if they didn't give up, why should i? whatever they can do, i can do better. don't give up now. it's always going to be better at the end."

or will it? i think that's my cowardice speaking. i'm afraid of falling behind. of losing what i have. so i cling on. like some freaking leech clinging on to someone.

and upon reflection, i suck as person as a whole. i such a freaking faker. i smile and laugh when i'm around people. but when i'm alone, then i can be myself. then can i huddle into a ball and stare into space and keep quiet. and be sad when i am. i can't be quiet and sad when i'm around people. people ask too much, say too much, will know too much. i don't like that. i want to be someone free. someone who doesn't fake. but i don't know how. fuck.

And I am

Whatever you say I am

If I wasn't, then why would I say I am?

EVERY-FUCKING-BODY MAKES MISTAKES.

2009-10-28T20:22:00.004+08:00

every-fucking-body makes mistakes. damn it.

why the hell am i feeling so screwed up now man?? it's like i can't make out heads or tails of the life i'm living anymore. maybe i'm not even living a life now. it's just like, so muddled, so mixed-up.

and today i found out about strong people. not those physically strong people who like to brag 'bout their muscles and stuff, but those kind of dang emotionally and mentally strong kind. i want to be strong. i'm not a coward, or at least that's what i like to tell myself. but seriously, who the hell am i kidding?? but maybe i don't want to be strong anymore. maybe i just want people around me whom i can depend on. but i guess all this shitfuck boils down to myself, being such an asstard and stuff.

sometimes i think i'm a freaking schizo. maybe it'll be better. at least they're never lonely.

p.s. constance, if you're reading this, i'm sorry. didn't mean to lie. but well, i'm just another run-of-the-mill bastard. sorry

if only life was like a tv show.

2009-10-27T20:49:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BELATED 17TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'm like old now sia. THANK YOU TO ALL THE NICE PEOPLE THAT REMEMBERED MY BIRTHDAY AND WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND GAVE ME PRESENTS!!

it's been like dang dang long since i last blogged. so like got miss out alot of stuff. but oh well!! now i'm going to blog to relieve stress!! eh shit sia. alot stuff do and complain about. but now can't. wait people will see. so can't say much. just that i'm getting pissed more and more often now. i don't want to by the way. i think mood swing sia.

I THOUGHT I WAS SURE THERE WAS NOTHING IN ME FOR YOU.

GODDAMMIT.

2009-04-04T22:59:00.001+08:00

oh. and by the way, i think my left foot's little toe's nail is coming off. 'cause very pain.

2009-04-04T22:43:00.001+08:00

eh. actually i wanted to blog de. but i forgot what i wanted to blog about. shit. i think i got alzheimer's eh. keep forgetting things.
now very stress, what with SC and PW and JC life. did i make e right choice? but so far, it's been fun.

2009-04-03T23:41:00.001+08:00

WILL UPDATE ASAP.
=)

2009-03-23T22:22:00.001+08:00

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=qAnsVobLCXyxlSV5_2fqMUnw_3d_3d
can u pls help do this survey?
its for pre u sem
when u finish doing pls tell me what sch u frm u can email me or sms me or something.
TYTY

2009-03-16T23:33:00.003+08:00

i've been wanting to say this for a long time. but i finally found the right words today.
if i wasn't ever born, maybe this house would have been more peaceful.
if i wasn't ever born, people in this family would be happier.
if i wasn't ever born, people who know me would not have to put up with me.
if i wasn't ever born, people around would be happier and more united.
if i wasn't ever born, someone would have taken my place, not that i matter much.
if i wasn't ever born, things would never have gone wrong.
if i wasn't ever born, there would be one less liar in the world.
if i wasn't ever born, everybody would be happy.

i just want people around me to be happy. but it's always so hard. i can't do it. everything i do doesn't make a difference anyways. it just.. hinders people along their way. an obstacle. a nuisance. a piece of trash.

if i could dissapear and make everyone around me happier. everything around me what it should have been, i would want to. afterall, i don't make a difference in the equation. i want to be a somebody in someone's life. but i can't. i can never make a difference. that's me. and i want to stop all the lies. it's getting too heavy.

i don't want to walk any further.

2009-03-12T21:59:00.003+08:00

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO HELP ME WITH MY CAMPAIGN POSTERS!!!!! ESPECIALLY NIQ AND JINLE!!!!! NO THANKS TO ZHAOLOONG FOR GIVING THE STUPID-EST IDEAS EVER.

STUPID TEST!!! (on facebook)
Mark the stupid things you've done, then add up the number of questions you marked. This test is out of 100 questions which means that the number you get as your score is your percentage.

1. [X] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. [ ] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. [X] Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. [ ] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. [X] Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. [ ] Had people tell you that you are blond when you're not, or had people tell you that your blonde
7. [X] Been caught staring at your crush by your crush
8. [X] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand
9. [X] Tried to push open a door that said pull
10 [X] Tried to pull open a door that said push

Running total: 7

11. [ ] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
12. [X] Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. [X] Have tripped and fallen on the stairs
14. [ ] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. [ ] Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. [ ] Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. [X] Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. [X] Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. [X] Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. [X] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

Running total: 13

21. [ ] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. [ ] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. [X] Have run into a closed door
24: [ ]Died from stupidity overload.
25. [ ] Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. [X] It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. [ ] Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. [X] Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. [ ] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

Running total: 16

31. [ ] After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. [X] Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. [X] Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. [ ] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. [X] Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot
36. [X] Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on.
37. [X] Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. [ ] Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. [X] Walked into a pole
40. [ ] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident

Running total: 22

41. [X] Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. [X] Tried to take a picture of someone's eye with the flash on
43. [X] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. [X] Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. [X] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it is was that you were going to do
46. [X] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it!
47. [X] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. [X] Have poked yourself in the eye
49. [X] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. [ ] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

Running total: 31

51. [X] Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. [X] Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. [X] Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. [X] Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. [ ] Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. [ ] Looked into an overhead purposely while it was on
57. [X] Got up early and got ready for school/work, then realized that you didn't have school/work that day.
58. [X] Forgot your own phone number
59. [X] Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. [X] Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny

Running total: 39

61. [ ] Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. [ ] Said funner then had someone make fun of you for it always.
63. [X] Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. [X] Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. [X] Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. [X] Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. [X] Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong.
68. [X] Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it.
69. [X] Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. [X] Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

Running total: 47

71. [X] When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face.
72. [X] Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. [X] Ran into a door jam
74. [X] Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. [X] Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. [ ] Have purposely licked playground sand
77. [X] Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. [X] Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. [X] Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. [X] Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would hurt.

Running total: 56

81. [X] Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. [X] Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. [ ] Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. [X] Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about.
85. [ ] Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. [ ] Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. [ ] Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked funny
88. [X] When at a restaurant, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. [X] Have flung forks at people in a restaurant
90. [X] Tripped and made the waiter drop the food.

Running total: 62

91. [X] As you are writing, you move your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. [ ] Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. [X] Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. [ ] Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours.
95. [X] Have started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. [X] Read a whole book but during the whole book you weren’t even paying attention
97. [X] You have spelled your own name wrongly before
98. [X] When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling
99. [X] Have used your calculator as a form of communication in a class
100. [ ] Have popped a balloon in your mouth

Running order: 69

STUPIDITY: 69/100

i found myself counting the unchecked boxes rather than the checked ones.

2009-03-06T22:14:00.004+08:00

actually, i don't know what i'm supposed to blog about now. so i'll just say what i did today.
morning went school play ball. then lessons. then shooting training. then play ball at serangoon. then home. i don't really know what to say anymore. i'm starting to mess up. i don't want to. why are people so nice? i can't take it. changing the world??? bah. bunch of bullshit. i don't know where i'm going anymore. or what i'm doing. or what i'm feeling. is there something wrong with me? i want to bury my face in my hands and vcry. but i can't. i'm dry. i want to talk. but there's nothing i can say. i want to laugh. but i can't even smile. i don't know what to do anymore. i don't want to do anything anymore.

i want to?

2009-03-05T20:02:00.002+08:00

today actually alot things happen ba. but i very lazy say lea. mrs tay sms me in the morning to go see her and i was freaking freaked out. i thought kana expel or something. then is actually SL selection. i think i'm going to join SL afterall. then can get the white shirt. =)
after school went pizza hut. eat eat eat. laugh laugh laugh. then i wan shit shit shit. stomach very pain. was VERY fun though. i don't feel like typing le. haha.

uh, btw, u gave me the wrong link eh desiree.

2009-02-23T19:39:00.002+08:00

AHA!!! I FEEL MAD TODAY!!!
CLASS TOOK LOTS OF PICS. THEN ALL THE GUYS KEEP JISIAO. SO FUN!!! XD
GOT CL TEST TODAY. I FEEL SO CLEVER LA. ALTHOUGH ALOT IS TIKAM DE. HAHA!!!
LATER NEED DO GEOG!! STRESS STRESS!!!

OYA. BTW, SAW VINCCI(SOUNDS LIKE GUCCI) YESTERDAY AT AMK LIBRARY WHEN STUDYING WITH GRACE AND JINLE.
SHE PIN UP HER FRINGE AND HER HAIR LOOKS LIKE SHE JUST WOKE UP. LIKE LION LIDDAT. LMAO!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-19T19:52:00.002+08:00

david say i must blog. so i blog lo.
very the busy eh., these days. alot homework. sch end late.(ok. maybe it's because i don't want to go home early. but. who cares!) alot of stress for promos. alot stress for napha.(i don't know how spell.) alot stress for will run. just alot stress eh.
then i suddenly feel like talking to her. even though she probably wont reply me and all. after everything i said. but. i don't know. i don't know whether i should or not. i don't want to waste my time already. but i can't help it. FUCKTART.
uh. fuck. random. i now like got no control over my life like that. like i'm just watching myself type all this stuff out without comprehending what i'm typing. now still have to do PW. walt disney and his contributions. no money buy gc. pok liao. die. shit.

MY HOPES.
MY DREAMS.
MY ASPIRATIONS.

NOTHING.

2009-02-14T11:33:00.003+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL!!!!!
haha was busy and tired for the whole of last week so didn't blog at all. had a whole week of activities. today is vday and i'm finally free. though i wish i wasn't. BUT NEVERMIND!! so i blogging now lo. also nothing blog so maybe kop some things from jinle's blog. hehe!! i feel sick again. took temperature is 38.2 degrees. took medicine le. so should be ok le. i don't want sleep. so later going out. i don't care go where. but just wan go out. haha. abit mad eh. me today feel. dunno why also. haha. aiya. i lazy la. just go see his valentine's day post yourself.

bleah.

2009-02-07T16:53:00.002+08:00

david didn't change his pants for the last of whole week!!!!
random thoughts. haha!!
uh actually forgot what i'm supposed to say la but should be something bout yesterday de.
eh yesterday went to send isaac off to korea for his family trip. his dad treated us to popeye!!! the mashed potato is nice sia!! then after that went to T3 walk walk. took alot pics. but got no mood to put them up. very mafan eh. my bag snapped by the way. sian. now really have to get new bag. then went home via bus. david became my leg rest eh. put my legs on him then i slapt the whole journey home. HAVE FUN, ISAAC!!!!

today went library return ALL my books. now cant slack le. must study. the ppl at nyjc all like play play play de lo. then srjc like got nobody play, everyone study study study eh. very stressed!! then after that went back s'goon ball for awhile and went to david's place for awhile. david was watching porn!!!! the pervo!!!!

2009-02-04T21:20:00.003+08:00

one-o-one

if i had powers,
i would be a BAD guy.
i WANT to be a BAD guy.
i'll do what i want to do.
i'll have nothing to hold me back,
nothing to constrain me,
nothing to hold me back.
life would be free.
no one to be commited to.
no one to be responsible to.

no one to mourn me when i die.
ah!!
the kind of carefree life i would have!!

2009-02-04T20:28:00.003+08:00

my 100th post.

argh.

can't rmb anything much bout today eh. only can remember is 3rd day of orientation.
college dance, anthem and cheer today.
then buy school clothes. econs is hard man..

yesterday 2nd day was subject briefing.

1st day on monday was damn boring. so i can't remember le.

the day before orientation, sunday, had mini class gathering. eat steamboat at bugis. very fun!!!

i've been plagued this few days. suddenly feel very.. heavy. like alot of thiings are weighing down on me. maybe by writing this down, it'll go away. i wanna grow up. i wanna to take things in my stride. i wanna make my life definite. so why can't i????? why does everything have to happen together??? i don't want to curl up in my bed every night, thinking. i wanna sleep, properly. i don't wanna regret the things i lost or didn't do anymore. i wanna amend my mistakes. i wanna change my life for the better. i wanna be happy. i wanna be in control of my life.

so why can't i???

i lost a brother.

i'm going to lose my home.

and i'm waiting for an answer i might not want.

how pathetic can i be???

2009-02-03T21:23:00.001+08:00

i need an answer from you. please.

2009-01-31T18:43:00.002+08:00

now at cousin's house. nothing do. so blog lo.
oya, today went back sch opp play ball fr awhile. then went back to school for toilet. the uncle recognized me immediately!! haha!! then we saw evelyn. she became damn fat sia!!!
went arcade after that. no virtual cop la. sian. so me and david played the ghost squad. then started to rain when we walking to library. borrowed super lots of comics lo. then took train to chinese garden. lucky got a few chio gals in the train else would be frigging sian lo.
then now blogging lo.

argh..

2009-01-30T21:57:00.002+08:00

I GOT POSTED TO SRJC. AS EXPECTED LA. HAHA!!
I DUNNO WHY. BUT I SUDDENLY LIKE TO TYPE IN CAPS. JIALE IS IRRITATED BY IT!! HAHA!! =)
UH TODAY WENT TO CELEBRATE XIANDA'S BARFDAY. WENT SAKAE SUSHI!!! I ATE TILL I NEARLY BARFED.
THEN IMMEDIATELY REACH HOME I GO SHIT LE.
THEN STILL MUST EAT DINNER.
THEN VERY FULL.
THEN I DUNNO WHAT TO SAY LE.
THEN I'M GOING TO CLICK PUBLISH POST NOW.
THEN I'M GOING TO BE VERY BORED.

uh if your reading this, i'm sorry jiale. had mood swing yesterday night. =)

2009-01-29T21:08:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY XIANDA!!!!!!!
went pulau ubin in morning today to cycle.
got me, dav, rebe and her family. no hongbaos though. sad.
fell down. nearly died course david talking too much. rebekah fell down like super many times until can't count le.
afternoon go back s'pore le.
was fun.
this from jolene's blog.>>

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You like privacy very much because you enjoy spending time with your own thoughts. You like to disappear when you cannot find solutions to your own problems, but you would feel better if you learned to share your thoughts with a person you trust.

2009-01-28T20:34:00.004+08:00

boo. i'm back.

finally finish all the visiting and everything. 25th and 26th went to family chalet. 27th went to visit my 2nd aunt, 3rd aunt and my niece's father. then today just went to my aunty mama's house and then went to jinle's house.

25th & 26th

nothing much la. just chalet lo. eat alot of things eh. 26th then got barbecue. was damn fun!! will upload photos when i get them. but nothing much to do there. play bowling. arcade. caught a midnight movie "love matters". wa. my smallest cousin cheat our money eh!! i lost all my coins to him..

COUSINS UNITED!!!

love matters.

27th

nothing much also. had to wake up frigging early to visit ppl. den visit ppl. den visit ppl. den go home. zzz.. zzz..

28th

today. went my aunty mama's house 1st. also had to wake up frigging early. then need bring alot stuff to her house. old clothes, microwave, and the list goes on. then after lunch went to visit jinle. then went bugis. go dc universe buy shirt. i bought a green lantern polo tee. david bought a superman shirt. then went mac eat dinner. went home. and blogging now.

2009-01-24T21:02:00.004+08:00

i can't really remembered what happened today. i think we went watch movie. INKHEART!!! that's it!! we went watch inkheart. we bring me, jinle, david, jiale, xianda and yongjin.

INKHEART!!!! (the granny's cute. the gal's quite chio.)

after that went bishan active play ball. got 1 korean guy and some korean gals there playing on one end. the other end was occupied by half-naked guys that were quite pro eh. so we joined the koreans. david was ogling at 1 of the korean gals. though i'll say that his taste is finally upgrading. the gal quite chio eh!! den when she just throw the ball back at us in the general directionand david caught it, he shouted "YEA!!!!" so loudly la. and then he lost control of his family jewels again and ejaculated i think.

ok. so maybe the last sentence up there was not true. BUT it should have been!!!

so i guess it's david we went out with today. after that play with e korean guy only. he was damn pro la!! like all his shots go in de. oh well..

i had a dream. it was.. real. and impossible. so.

juststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinkingjuststopthinking.

JUST STOP THINKING.

2009-01-22T20:09:00.002+08:00

nothing much today.
went david's hse slack in the afternoon.
was reading soul eater manga online. but then read very long still at chapter 4. sian.
jinle was also reading manga. he said is air gear manga.
and DAVID PACKED UP HIS ROOM!!! can u believe it??? i mean, ya, of course you CAN't believe it.

RIGHT?

oh well. after that then we begin fighting with sticks.
DAVID STARTED IT.
but still, i thrashed him. like always. duh?
jl also joined us in fighting. cool right?
after awhile, david lost control of his family jewels. AGAIN. and his whole pants was covered in blood. so it's either he got menses or he lost control.
end of story.

2009-01-21T20:37:00.002+08:00

today went bball-ing with jinle and david.
nothing happened much.
other then david losing his potency and control of his little chick after getting hit by a ball.
he was like peeing into his pants lo.
colours of the world unite on david's pants!!!
there was red, white, blue, green, yellow, black, purple..you name it!!
after that went library. borrowed comics. AGAIN.
oh well.

i know i should'nt be feeling this.

doing this.

but.

i can't help it.

i feel

cold.

2009-01-20T20:39:00.002+08:00

david ask me post so he will have something to read. evil right?
i have to start studying tmr. super darn sian lo. ok ok.

HAPPY BARFDAY JINLE!!!!!
hope you had fun today!!
went jinle house today to celebrate his barfday.
got me jl, david, jiale, iz, xianda, yongjin, jolene and rebekah.
wa the rebekah damn evil lo. she say she wan ignore me. fine! everybody ignores me anyway. cant't be bothered. it's not like i'm not used to it.
back to topic. david came my house in the morning and we were using sticks to fight. you know those kind use to hang clothes with a prong on the end those kind? ya.
then after that i went down mac to meet with david and rebekah. david wanted to fix a broken bike i found. and my aunt came today after david left. she brought ba-kua. =)
we bought jinle a cake. chocalate cake. quite nice eh!! oh ya! and we were at amk hub this morning to find my sis' lost mp3. so we went to fairprice xtra buy jl's present.
IT'S A FACE CREAM!!!! i think..
oya!! today jinle was reading a manga where a guy(or was it a girl?) was squeezing another girl's boobs!!! horny jl!!! haha.
went play bball after that. iz was not feeling very well. so he was only waiting for ball to come. then halfway through the match, he regained his voice!! cool right?
after that went back s'goon buy dinner. then went home.

2009-01-19T20:05:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BARFDAY HAMSTER!!!!

today went out celebrate grace tong shihui's birthday with david. jinle could'nt make it cos he sick. but it wasn't exatly celebration at the starting.
hamster lost her wallet on the bus. then we go help her call alot of bus interchange help her find also can't find. and she was calling this shermaine sito person cos she took same bus with her. but the person was on the phone i think so never pick up. then ham started crying at mos burgers. then we try call amk interchange try try AGAIN.
AND THIS TIME, THEY FOUND HER WALLET!!!!
WOOTS!!!
i was so freaked out when she cry la. i'm scared of crying girls. i dunno wad to do.
oh well. all's well that ends well.
then went playground slack. the 1 opposite amk library with the swings.
bought her a chocalate cake. actually want surprise her de. but dav say she saw it le. so, oh well!

i look look here~

i look look there~

"where is my darth vader helmat??? HAMSTER RAWR!!!!"

2009-01-17T13:43:00.001+08:00

SORRY!!

so late then blog bout this.

we went to eat steamboat yesterday!!! at

its called 'spicy gal' or something. can't remember now. IT WAS THE BEST STEAMBOAT I'VE EVER HAD!!! there was ms chua, mr chang, mr soon, me, dav, jl, iz, rebekah, jolene, wenlynn, jiayun, michelle, wenqian, peiying and jialing. david eat more than me!! pig!!! oya! we went bowling before steamboat at marina! THANKS MS CHUA!!!!

BBBBUUUUUUURRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!~

LET'S TAKE A GROUPIE!!!

ANOTHER GROUPIE!!!!

AND AANOTTTTTHHHHEEEEERRRRR GROUPIE!!

p.s.: koop-ed e pics frm croc's blog =)

2009-01-15T21:37:00.002+08:00

i guess its because i've never lost a brother before.

2009-01-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

SUPERDUPERFUCKINGFREAKINGFISHINGSIAN.

2009-01-15T19:59:00.002+08:00

morning went out.
david wore his pink ranger mask.
afternoon go play ball.
came home.
blogging.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR OWN.

2009-01-13T20:13:00.001+08:00

I FEEL IGNORED.

LIKE ALWAYS.

MAYBE I SHOULD STOP THINKING.

ABOUT EVERYTHING.

WHAT A CLUSTER FUCK.

2009-01-12T21:19:00.002+08:00

i feel so fucked up.
got result at ard 2.

L1R4 - 9
L1R5 - 15
ENGLISH - A1
HUMANITIES - A2
GEOGRAPHY - A1
MATHEMATICS - A2
ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS - D7
SCIENCE - C6 <<< PUBO.
CHINESE - B3

now dunno where go. feel very depressed.

DO I EVEN HAVE MY OWN LIFE????

2009-01-11T20:19:00.002+08:00

18 hours and 41 minutes more to live.

2009-01-08T20:04:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DESMOND!!!!

wa, these few days like alot ppl birthday eh. oh well. today went ngee ann with people.
me, jl, iz and mc, rebe, xd, jl, yj, jeevitha, jialing and the MOTHERFUCKING DAVID WHO MADE ME WAIT FOR HIM AT THE BUSSTOP FOR 30 FREAKING MINUTES. then went mac. amk de. then later take bus 74 go ngee ann poly. was fun. i think. david was OGLING at every single girl. which means he's normal. in addition to him being late of course.

went to a few different booths. quite boring. david was blushing at a taned girl at a chinese booth. i like the shooting 1 though. missed. but it was still fun! then around 2+ found bball court. then end up play till 5+. leg the 4 blisters pain eh. but won't die. duh. i think i got mental illness eh. i'm going mad soon. i think. the percussion band or team or something was damn cool la!!! =)

me, laoma, dav. take 1.

me, laoma, dav. take 2.

playing bball at ngee ann.

yj, mr johari, me, xianda, jl.

LOTS OF PROPLE!!! leaving ngee ann.

and the percussion band or team or something. sending them off.

i'm not going to die.

well,

at least not so soon.

THE 12th.

2009-01-05T19:58:00.002+08:00

today is monday. went sell books to 2nd hand shop at bras pasar with david, rebekah, and her cousin. earned $4. went central nlb next to it. borrowed like 2 thick books and 6 comics. after that went bugis walk walk. decided to but a batman and green lantern shirt after get CNY cash. david want buy superman and spiderman shirt. then go lavendar. dunno spell correct or not. rebekah's cousin need buy things he lost for his NS shirt. back at serangoon, we forced david to confess. don't ask me. ask him. once reach home i keep shitting. now need go shit. bye.

i just need someone.

to lean my shoulder on.

just for a wee bit.

so the nightmares won't come.

2009-01-03T21:05:00.001+08:00

THIS IS JUST TO JISIAO YOU.

i feeling like dying.

2009-01-03T20:27:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IRENE!!!!

you could have.

but i guess there wasn't a need.

i'll try my best.

to get away with everything.

to escape from tommorow.

to forget today.

to return to yesterday.

2009-01-02T20:16:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELVIN!!!!

2009-01-01T20:32:00.003+08:00

BOOYA!!!! ITS MY 1ST POST OF 2009!!!!!!

must force myself to feel happy!!! so, i'm happy!!! today was a great day! went to swim with dav, deena and grace and later went bballing with dav, jl and grace. actually grace didnt even play ball at all cause she say she got phobias of balls thrown at her. dunno why also. she never say.

in the morning, actually couldnt wake up. then suddenly hamster(grace) called me to remind me to meet at 930. but we were both late lo. in the end meet at around 10. then later deena came down and we decided to swim!! haw-haw!! sorry, jl! forgot call you come swim also. then got take picture. then got this pregnant woman not wearing bra, only wearing 1 small white shirt and fpt came down to swim. DAVID WERE LOOKING AT HER BREASTS AND TOLD ME HER NIPPLES WERE SHOWING. she was at the opposite end of the pool and we were at the front. then we were taking pictures. the woman actually thought we were taking pictures of her!!! WTF la. siao zabo. then she went to tell her husband and they came over to stand behind of us la. sot de. anyways, got 1 lifeguard keep walking around the pool and hamster thought he was ogling at her. LOL.

later in the afternoon, jinle came down so we went to play ball. got 1 not-really-skinny guy came down to play also. he was like damn pro la. he shoot everything also go in. oh well.

i'll try to keep it down.

but i really wanna scream and shout.

don't mind me.

i bite.

so get out of my face.

before i rip it off and stuff it up your arse.

2008-12-31T23:51:00.000+08:00

it's been a great year. but its coming to an end real soon. so goodbye. and hello 2009. i won't forget any of 2008. it was the best year in my life. something perfect. for me. thank you. everybody who helped make it wonderful. thank you.

2008-12-31T23:14:00.001+08:00

goodbye. 2008.

2008-12-31T21:38:00.001+08:00

SEE YOU IN 2009!!!!

a few more hours.

and everything will be over.

2008-12-30T19:30:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SIS LAY WOON!!!!!!!!

tomorrow's the 31st! so fast the year end le. suddenly feel very nostalgic eh. like i going lose everything soon. hai.. oh well. should feel happy! in a sort of way.
uh today went play ball and badminton with dav, joeyong and jolene. was fun. didny know those 2 aunties so good at badminton. they keep doing aunty pose eh. oops. i'm bleeding. again. better clean up the floor.
click this link. >> http://www.lovecalculator.be/quiz/en/4358698/free
its good.

i feel so choked up inside.

unable to breathe.

yet unable to die.

hanging in between.

i want you.

i despise you.

you can laugh together.

at pathetic little me.

and everything everything else.

but i guess i'm used to it.

if you're looking for me.

i'll be sitting just outside the door.

gazing at the stars.

waiting.

though nobody'll ever come looking.

and maybe i don't want anyone to come.

as much as i want for my star to drop

and for my life to end.

2008-12-27T19:09:00.004+08:00

ok. today need blog bout yesterday and today. aiyo. sound very robotic eh.

YESTERDAY
was dav's christmas bbq. me, dav, joeyong, jolene and rebekah went to dav's hse early at around 2pm. the bbq was supposed to start at around 5 so we play play in his room 1st. jolene had to type some proposal thing so she use e com. laoma didnt bring her medicine so she was laughing like a mad dog until 5pm. joeyong and dav were playing with each other and practising "kungfu". i was sitting on the ledge trying to stop laoma from going totally mad. o by the way, i've decided to call joeyong black woman. she really very black. then later at 5, daphne came. then jinle. then jinle go fetch desmond and kelvin and jialing i think. then deena and grace came down. den ard 7, i go pick up audrey and kaiyun from the cc. those 2 suaku gals cant see e condo directly in front of them eh. then got gift exchange!! i got a spongebob watch from desmond which i am NOT going to wear EVER. sorry desmond. =) later eat, drink, play with cat and sparkles then at around 9pm, most ppl nid go home le. forgot take group photo.. =( sian.. so left me, dav, des and kelvin. we go play bball. but got thrashed. by some super pro ppl. but at least i scored. =) later went back to dav's hse for sleepover.went bathe and it became..

TODAY
at around 12am finish bathing. then just read manga for awhile then grace and deena want play monopoly. so we play monopoly. deena is damn good la!!! i nearlly became pok at her hands. lucky she need sleep early cause she need go church the next morning. so i ended up with the most money at around 2++am. then we 3 damn sian so talk talk. then we decided to give morning call to ppl. this time the morning call not nice de. wenlynn, michelle, kaiyun, mr chang, like everybody who pick up is not sleep then wake up halfway de. with the only exception of ms chua. she sounds happy that we gave her morning call!! =) after that still very sian. so grace and david decided to eat my ferrero rocher. after that grace want sleep. but we keep jisiao her so she cant sleep. oya. grace is now officially called Darth Hamster!! cool right? then around 5+am we morning call again. the laikaiyun never sleep but dont want pick up my cal. instead, she msged.. but i was half asleep when she msged so only reply her this morning. uh, laikaiyun's now hoothoot. she like owl eh, don't sleep at night sleep in morning de. then woke up at around 9++am. grace say she try wake me before and she poke my head but i only do >.< end =")">

dav id kungfu style: throwing pillows at sweet heart.

fats on fats. as simple as that.

david with joeyong(his sweetheart) cooking.

my slipper and the cat. say hi!

mini fireworks AKA sparklers = FUN!!

2008-12-25T20:00:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! XDXD

2008-12-24T22:03:00.002+08:00

very bored, went blog-hopping, saw jl's wishlist so i thought, "i shld make 1 too!!". so here i am.
again.

WISHLIST/RESOLUTIONS FOR CHRISTMAS(TOMORROW) + NEXT YEAR:
- e leather sling bag. dunno how say la. but dav say cost $7 only.
- more cash to spend. actually, ALOT more cash to spend.
- a lappy.
- new house slippers. this 1 i wearing now very small eh.
- cheaper takoyaki store. though must taste better. = impossible.
- make more friends. preferably girls. =)
- new table.
- new blog skin.
- long sleeve button up shirt. casual de.
- levi's jeans
- sneakers.
- more sneakers. preferably 7 pairs. 1 for each day.
- for me to stop asking for the impossible.
- for example, her.

THERE.

2008-12-24T21:29:00.003+08:00

yesterday laoma invited me and dav over to east coast for bbq. was actually supposed to be for choir ppl only but i think got not enough ppl. so in the end got me, dav, laoma, miaochun, jianfeng, alvin, 'ama', 'aunty', 'aunty' and 'uncle'. ba. i forget le =p. laoma didnt tell us need bring present for gift exchange so we didnt bring any, and so in the end got no present at all. me and dav were bbq-ing!! was fun. but the cheese like wont melt de. dav kept on bio-ing at the girls at the bbq pit beside us lo. the food was good, since i cooked it =D. den went back home with laoma, dav and laoma cousin at around 9 plus. reached home at around 10++. we were talking bout transexuals on the bus and dav was SUPER FREAKED OUT. he don't dare go home on his own. so he called me when he walking home. dav kind of dumped his phone into the sea.

today, went to wrap presents that me and dav bought for the ppl gg the bbq on friday. pack awhile finish le. thrashed him in Magic when he use jinle's deck. he didnt bring his own. but i would have thrashed him nevertheless. =)

not exactly a sunset. yet.

there's a face in the fire. look carefully.

row of candles..

2008-12-20T22:17:00.001+08:00

uh btw, bon voyage to Vivian!!!
have a nice time at japan!!
rmb buy you-know-what-s!!!

2008-12-20T22:00:00.003+08:00

TAKOYAKI TAKOYAKI!!!!!!!! I LOVE TAKOYAKI!!!!!!
just finished 3 boxes of takoyaki =)
and since it's nearing the end of the year, lets settle the accounts!! muahahahahahaha!!!!
money spent:
+ 20% - movies, arcade, etc
+ 15% - presents and such
+ 65% - FOOD!!!!! AAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
money saved(based on total): 3~5%
...

AWESOME RESULTS!!!!!!!!!!

damned..

going into depression mode now.

maybe we all should drop the pretenses now,
and bare our souls to the ones we hold dear.

2008-12-16T15:28:00.002+08:00

today david, rebekah, daphne and jolene went for their church camp. and since i got nothing to do, i went to look for christmas presents. i spent $40+ and i only bought 1 present. die. spend too much on eating le. went for lunch at near e immigration building. the beef hor fun and char kway teow there quite good. then saw vivian. so eat together. after that go walk walk around at compass point with her then go home.

i found out something eh. i always forget to blog bout the things that happen on the day itself and in the end i don'y blog bout it anymore. uh, went to parkway parade with dav and rebekah onsunday. actually is supposed to cycle and skate de. then rain so rebekah's parents say don't go. so in the end we went walk walk, eat eat and looking for presents. and finding none. rebekah was SUPER DARN HORNY that day. david blog should have more info. i don't feel like typing pervie things on my blog.

yesterday, me and dav went jl hse play ball. plus jl help me dl star wars: the force unleashed and yggdra union(which i dunno why i CANT play). play ball till 3.30 then go back his hse play duel masters. david won. only because me and jinle were busy defending ourselves from each other rather than concentrating on him. shows alot on just how pathetic he is. but now i want start playing MAGIC: THE GATHERING!!! dav and jl will be playing. but i still saving up cash to buy 1 blue and white deck.

2008-12-13T12:51:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JOLENE!!!

went to watch "The Day The Earth Stood Still" to celebrate jolene's birthday at orchard's lido with david, audrey, jinle, jolene, rebekah, isaac and miaochun. or sort of. the movie was pretty good! i'll give it 8/10!! it isn't even half bad of what jinle says. the girl in the movie was cute too! anyways, after the movies den went to walk around orchard. dunno what the shopping mall's called. but got 1 FREAKING big christmas tree inside. then go to 1 bookstore. the books there were quite funny. anyways, my sis is finishing all 4 twilight books today!!!! SHIT! i have'nt even start on 1 yet..

btw, Arachibutyrophobia - fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth.

2008-12-06T19:14:00.006+08:00

TODAY IS A DAY WITH 3 SPECIAL EVENTS.
(in order from first to last)

1. Jinle and me took around 1hr trying to learn how to learn a bike. although we still dunno how to ride.

2. David has a superpower: he can strip women down with his eyes.

3. Jolene lost her wallet.

ok. let's start. me, jl and dav went cycling at around 10. took bus 135. take so long until i wanted to vomit..after a while, jolene arrived at east coast too. den cycle cycle cycle. 12+ we went to eat for nearly 1 hr. dav did'nt want to eat cos he was busy testing out his new eye power which we have christened 'THE OGLING EYES OF DAVID'. well anyway, after that we took bus to raffles city go see my laojie laywoon. but she actually drove us out!!! so bad right? haha! den we went over to suntec city walk walk den play arcade. then JOLENE LOST HER WALLET..we could.nt find it in the end so she went to make a police report, if what dav told me is true.

jinle learning how to ride bicycle!!!

me and david's score at the arcade basketball..

and jinle's score at the arcade basketball. he still say very lan.. bugger!!

MONKEYS RULE!!!! RAWR!!!!

2008-12-04T20:47:00.002+08:00

eh da-sao(miao chun) ask me do this quiz den comment. this is what i'll say: she must be damn bored to do this stupid quiz. but since i'm doing it now, i must be damn bored too.

[xp] you have tripped a couple of times(i see no link y ur stupid cos u trip..)
[xp] you were looking for a certain object then you realize it's in ur hand
[xp] you have been hit by a ball on the head(no link too..)
[] you have failed in p.e. class
[xp xp xp] you have been called stupid

total: 4

[xp] you keep forgetting what ur about to say
[] you've worn ur clothes upside-down a couple of times
[] you swim then realize ur out of breathe(plain idiot)
[] you open the fridge instead of opening the cupboard
[] you thought that ricky martin was straight(who cares bout him?)

total: 1

[] you take 10 seconds or more to realize that a joke is funny
[xp xp] the keyboard is black, the lights are off, it's dark and you still tend to type.(uh no link? lettering on keyboard is white? plus if can still type means ur a genius lo)
[] you have no idea what a X-box is
[] you do not know how multiplication works
[xp xp] you keep writing although you do not know what ur writing about(its called inspiration pls)

total: 2

[] you know ur the only one in the class with that name but you still ask "who, me?'(juai..)
[xp xp] you dunno wad he/she is talking bout but you still say "yeah"
[xp xp xp] you dunno wads the difference between BOMBAIS and MUSLIMS(the same wad)
[] you were about to go out of ur hse when you realized you didnt wear ur undies
[]you forget to wear ur shoes

total: 2

[] you dunno where you live
[] you dunno abt 1/4 of the roads in the city
[] you dunno a single element(SUPER NO LINK)
[] you dunno what an ipod is
[xp xp xp] you see a sign tat says don't touch but you still touch it(that's wad the sign's for, to make you touch it)

total: 1

[] you do not know what ur name means
[] you have no idea what sims are
[] you dun know what NEWS means
[] you fell off your chair
[xp] you fight with someone but you dunno what ur fighting about

total: 1

[xp] you still dunno whether a tomato is a fruit or a vegetable
[xp] you dun hear a thing when someone's shouting at you(no link?)
[xp xp xp] you say "what" and "huh" alot
[] ur using a calculator to see ur score in this test

total: 3

xp - it happens
xp xp - it happens frquently
xp xp xp - this happens all the time

GRAND TOTAL: 14

multiply it by 3: 14*3=42
which means i'm 42% dumb. but actually this quiz like got no link. so minus e no link-s, i'm only 30% dumb. see the difference?

2008-12-04T19:23:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BARFDAY TO DAVID THE PEANUT!!!

and to celebrate his barfday, me jl, jl and yj went to play pool at vivo!! without him!!! WOOHOO!!
actually, we went there to buy his barfday present which includes bla bla, bla bla, and bla bla bla. its a secret for now. anyways today was only e second time i go play pool!! so i very noob eh. but i won 2 matches!!! WOOTS!! but that is only if the match where i ended e match prematurely with me scorin 3 and everybody scoring 0 by gettin e ball into the, uh, 'hole'? haha! oh well. now dunno why, also start playin PetSociety, but damn hard play eh!! money very hard get. now going find manga read!!

yj trying out for e 1st time!! i think.

seasoned pro jiale making his move..

junior league player jinle aims with extreme cocentration!!

2008-12-03T19:09:00.001+08:00

MY SISTER'S OUT OF THE COUNTRY!!! WOOHOO!!! can't talk now, need go play!!!

2008-11-13T19:16:00.002+08:00

can't talk alot now.. got a dislocated jaw. is it pain? i took 1hr to eat dinner. what do you think? now so sian. now i'm hooked on hsm3 songs anyway. dunno why oso.
uh, by the way, yesterday went kallang for bowling!! went with david, jinle, rebekah, rebekah's mum, jolene, daphne and jianfeng i think. the rest of the class were skating but we did'nt go. too exp and we were late anyways =). den got take quite abit of pics. but laoma not online so cant get it from her.
anyways, CONGARTULATIONS ON EVERYBODY WHO FINISH 'O' LEVELS!!!

2008-11-12T10:06:00.003+08:00

shao beng asked me do quiz so here goes.

1) Who tagged you?
- um everybody in e tagboard?

2) Your relationship with him/her?
- friends? or else they won't tag me le wad..

3) Your 5 impressions of them.
- some short, some tall, some fat, some skinny. but all good people and friends.

4) The most memorable things he/she had done for you.
- alot eh..

5) The most memorable thing they have said to you.
- alot oso eh..

6) If they become your lover, you will?
- wa! den i got alot gf uh? dun wan eh. i only wan 1. =)

7) If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she can improve on?
- depends..haha!!

8) If they become your enemy you will?
- cry lor. i dunno?

9) (repeat question)
- ... ... ... ...

10) What is it that you want to tell them?
- abit cliched eh but, GIVE ME YOUR MONEY!!!! joking.. heh heh..

11) Your overall impression of them?
- good friends.

12) How do you think ppl around you will feel about you?
- i dunno?

13) The characters you like about yourself?
- um, still looking for it.

14) The characters you hate of yourself are?
- um, alot?

15) The most ideal person you want to be?
- not myself.

16) For people who like you and care about you, say something to them.
- uh, love you guys too?

17) Pass this quiz to 10 ppl that you wish to know how they think about you.
1- David
2- Jinle
3- Audrey
4- Desmond
5- Rebekah
6- Wenlynn
7- Michelle
8- Jiayun
9- Isaac
10- Miaochun

18) Who is no.6 having relationship with?
- meangirls. she tell me de.

19) Is no.9 a male or female?
- male. half-cat oso.

20) If no.7 and no.10 are together, will it be a good thing?
- miao chun have isaac le.

21) What is no.2 studying about?
- he's taking a course in the S'pore University of PORN.

22) When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
- uh forgot heh heh!! but got msg

23) What kind of music band does no.8 likes?
- WENLYNN oso dunno. how i noe?

24) Does no.1 have any sibings?
- yups. he even bathe with her before.

25) Will you woo no.3?
- uh, obviously not. she got freddy le eh.

26) How about no.7?
- no. like hello??

27) Is no.4 single?
- haha!! i think so!!

28) What is the surname of no.5?
- Lim

29) What is the hobby of no.10?
- uh, this 1 must ask iz.

30) Where is no.2 studying at?
- S'pore University of PORN.

31) Talk about something for no.1.
- che..i'm going to beat you!! RAWR!!

32) Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
- NO!!

33) Where does no.9 live?
- Yishun.

34) What colour does no.4 like?
- uh, colour of porn?

35) Are no.1 and no.5 best friend?
- their mum and son.

36) Does no.1 have any pets?
- he is his own pet.

37) Is no.7 the sexiest person on Earth?
- nope.

38) What is no.10 doing now?
- talking to iz?

YES!!! I FINALLY FINISH!!!!!!!!!!!
uh, btw me, dav and dav's jojo went rebekah's hse yesterday!! she looked abit scary with her hair infront. you'll see. den we go play badminton. 3 shuttlecocks flew over the fence lo.

o-ba-sang..
pon-tia-nak..she probably went halloween party liddat lo.
uh, posing??

oih ya and after the paper we went to watch HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3!!!!!! the songs were awesome and the movie was great. HOWEVER, david was laughing at all the wrong moments and the movie made me sad.. cos it reminds me that this year would be my last year at dyss oso.. sad..

2008-11-09T11:21:00.002+08:00

uh, read mc's blog den got my name so here goes..

1) have you given your 1st kiss away?
- um, ya?

2) are you spoilt?
- if you mean nobody at home cares bout me me and blame everything on me, yups. (:

3) where is the place you want to go most?
- anywhere but home.

4) if you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
- have friends forever and ever and ever.

5) do you believe in seeing rainbows after the rain?
- if the opposite blocks are not blocking it?

6) who/what are you afraid of losing now?
- friends.

7) if you win $1million, what would you do it?
- if i have it then i'll think of what to do with it.

8) if you meet someone who you like, will you confess to him/her?
- um, probably not. i'm a mu tou ren. normally i'll wait for e girl ba.

9) list 3 gd pts of the person who tagged you/ passed you this.
- uh, she's my da-sao. she's gd to my da-ge. she's my friend?

10) what are your requirements for your other half.
- nothing much ba. is feeling wad i tot?

11) what kind of person do you hate most?
- i don't HATE ppl. i just DISLIKE them.

12) what is your ambition?
- still looking for it.

13) if you have faults, would you rather ppl say it to you or keep quiet?
- let ppl say ba. afterall, i hear it at hoime everyday.

14) what aspect of someone's character do you admire the most?
- being happy always.

15) are you a shopaholic?
- if i have money ba.

16) if you have a chance, what part of ur character would you want to change?
- uh, not to be so..i dunno how say eh..

17) what do you usually do at home?
- uh, listen to ppl scold me. and look at my phone waiting for msg to come.

18) any weird habits or quirks?
- always feel very lonely at night? emotions can change very fast? counted?

19) how do you think the person who tagged you can become a better person?
- her hair? (:

20) what do you think you'll be in the future?
- alone?

uh, pass this to everybody under my "ALL THINGS GOOD". ty! and btw, david did go watch porn on badjojo.com when we(me and jinle) went to his hse.

2008-11-09T10:51:00.001+08:00

have you ever felt like that before? so helpless. so cold. needing somebody to protect you?

2008-11-06T20:02:00.002+08:00

puibah in short pants, ms chua say he look like teddy bear. must be a BIG teddy bear!

mr lee and mr hiew trying to see the rip!

puibah trying to use my jacket to cover the rip!

haha!! nvm!! i got e pics!!

2008-11-06T19:40:00.004+08:00

hi all!! wasn't gg to blog today but today a especially funny thing happened!!! we'll get to it later. anyways today was HUMAN GEOGRAPHY PAPER!!!! WOOHOO!!! tat means only 1 more paper left!!! yea!!! i dunno why, but i'm feeling happy though i probably flunked it. haha!! ok, now to serious business..
...
...
...
(for the dramatic effect..)
DESMOND RIPPED HIS PANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!! can't believe it rite? but its TRUE!!! we were playing basketball, then des tried to do cross and ended up RIPPING HIS PANTS!!!!!! ok, i'm not supposed to blog bout this so don't tell puibah ok? it's our little secret!! haha!!
FOR PICTURES GO JINLE'S BLOG. HIS BLOG'S ON MY BLOGROLL?? i dunno wad's e ting called..o ya by the way i'm going to change my blogskin soon i hope!!

2008-10-25T16:33:00.001+08:00

happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me-eeee,
happy birthday to me.

2008-10-10T19:59:00.003+08:00

today was an ending. or is it a beggining? i've lost what i've been holding on to keep me afloat. now that i've lost it, will i drown? so many friends. POOF! now they're gone. just like a magic trick. REGRETS. they just keep piling up. a few more were added today. guess it doesn't make a difference now, huh? but maybe it still does matter. i could have done it. but i didn't. i chickened out. too scared. or maybe i'm just a coward. too scared to do what i want and can do. must we really lose something to know how to treasure it? i wish we were back in sec 3. then we would have 1 more year. one more year of laughter and joy. one more year where we would be able to cry together. ONE MORE YEAR OF TOGETHER. but if we are in sec 3 now, would we be able to treasure what we have? or maybe we'll spend the the year and regret it like now? but its all too late now, right? much too late now. too late for me to erase my regrets and do what i ought to have done today. but maybe i should give it a shot.
go on. laugh. laugh at this poor pathetic fool that thinks he can do it. laugh at his stupidity. laugh at his childishness. laugh at his ignorance. laugh at his cowardice. laugh at HIM. so many chances came and gone. and i didn't even take any of it.
today i learned something. everything i have now? i'll lose it. one day or another. that book. that toy. that girl. that friend. that family. no matter who it is or what it is, i'll lose it one fine day. that's why i'll tresure everything and everybody while i can. but can i?

Now? It's over. No more chances.

THE GRADUATION CEREMONY

2008-10-10T19:24:00.004+08:00

today was e graduating ceremony. sad. like damn sad. went sch damn early today like 8.20? to play bball. last time in deyi. had to wait for 30 WHOLE MINUTES for david to reach e busstop. we were supposed to meet at 7.10 to go amk mac. but he reached the busstop at 7.40 and i did chem tys at the bustop waiting for him. den xianda sms me and say he wan go mac oso. in the end he also late 30mins. met alot ppl at mac - joel, kelvin, songrui etc. den also saw kaiyun outside mac toot toot like waiting for somebody but not sure whether is her or not.

after that went school and played ball. den jiale and yongjin, jinle, isaac and miaochun came(this is according to the order they came). jinle and isaac played ball with us. but i tink we won =). den changed and went to grad ceremony. got performance and all those. rebekah sang with the teachers!! after it all supposed to play floorball but in the end played badmiton as there were too many ppl. lots of regrets. ALOT of pics but cant possibly post all now sorry! got 100+ in only rebekah's cam plus 2 vids alot of others in alot of other ppl's phones and cams. so will just post cliche and class photos 1st. wont post got my face big big de pics. hair sibei messy. shld have go comb 1st. WILL MISS ALL OF YOU!! especially you!! and you!! and you!! and you!! and you!! and you!! and you!! and...

uh, the blogger got prob cant post pics. maybe try next time! sorry!

2008-10-09T19:27:00.001+08:00

feel very sad today. don't want to post anything.
she was THAT fierce.

2008-10-04T19:37:00.002+08:00

today went back school. did physics paper finish. went canteen buy drink. saw alot ppl. went for lunch at hub. saw more ppl. went home. did e-math. tried not to think of her. tried to sleep. could'nt. feeling dead. maybe i am. damn.

2008-10-02T20:21:00.002+08:00

damn. damn. i figured tat alot of time i start post will say this. but..what the fuck. everybody's emo-ing. i can't take it anymore. it's like living in a dream. like i'm hallucinating.

blablablablablablablablablablabla. i brushed past.

ifeelsodeadifeelsodeadifeelsodead. it was electric.

2008-09-29T16:14:00.002+08:00

17 days more and i'm blogging. damn. anyways i wanna introduce a new classmate to yo guys out there!! its Micheal Low Lok Sok!!! Michelle Low Sok Lok's bro!! haha, not real 1 la! but michelle really cut her hair until like, like, like DAMN short la! now she look like guy so dunno shld call her my ma or my pa. too bad i didnt take pic cos my phone confiscated. hai, oh well. gtg!

2008-09-26T19:43:00.002+08:00

today is MAJOR-SCHOOL-PONNING DAY!! LOTS of ppl were absent and e 21 of us who went to school literally had the whole class to ourselves. anyways, today it was raining damn hard in the morning, and since i had to walk 1 bus stop with no umbrella to take the bus, i was way freaking wet. oh well, hope i get sick. nobody'll care anyway. later when i met up with david to get umbrella at e sch bus stop, e rain subsided. sod it.

i'm trying to forget
but i just can't
i'm trying not to care
but i can't stop it
let the rain come
and wash it all away
but it's cut too deep
like a scar that will never heal
with no bandage
to salve it
maybe it'll never ever
so i'm running away
to lick my wounds
in the darkest corners
maybe i don't want others to care
maybe i'm just too tired
with no shoulder to lean on
and to cry on
so i'm leaning into myself
seeking the shelter i will never find
an anchor i'll never be able to hinge on

i'm learning

to numb it

to cut it away

from me

make it another

part of me

so that i can

forget about it

but i can't

so sod it

2008-09-24T19:14:00.005+08:00

today's E-LEARNING DAY!! but when sch study so didnt do e-learning. oh well. but feel very sad. for reasons i can't say about. its a secret XP. have to update my contacts soon now like v little ppl. anyways king kong asked me to do a quiz and i found my name on jinle's 1 oso so here goes.

1.The person who tagged/pass you is?
michelle asked me to do it den saw my name on jinle's blog

2. Your relationship with him/her?
mic - friend that always beat me
jinle - same cliche, 1 of best frens XP

3. Your five impressions of him/her?
mic - likes beating guys, piggy nose XP, not that fat actually, kingkong, mood swings
jinle - pokpok, faithful crushing, patient, suan~er, more pokpoks XP

4. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?
mic - promised she won't beat me that day but still did ):
jinle - something bout pokpoks i think ):

6. If he/she becomes your lover you will?
mic - *vomit vomit* great! now i have to mop up my dinner..
jinle - PLS!!! he's a freaking shemale!!! oops.. XP

7. If he/she became your lover, he/she has to improve on?
mic - stop beating me up
jinle - NONONO

8. If he/she became your enemy, you will?
mic - hope not. i already don't have enough friends
jinle - i'll make sure his head gets stuffed up his ass! haha!! jkjk

9. If he/she became your enemy, the reason will be?
mic - actually i think she hates all guys
jinle - e gal he likes likes me instead? haha! i don't know ba

10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her is?
mic - not be her punching bag
jinle - help him get his crush ba

11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
mic - KINGKONG but a great friend!! XP
jinle - POKPOK but he's a good guy!!!

12. How do you think the people around you will think about you?
i don't know though i'm bothered sometimes ):

13. The characters you love of yourself are?
being able to live through every day without trying to kill myself! (:

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are?
sometimes feel so useless and hopeless ):

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
not myself, that's for sure

16. For people who care and like you, say something to them.
thanks for everything, i'll never be able to make it up and i won't try XP

17. Pass this quiz to 10 people.
1)david (peanut)
2)jinle (pokpok)
3)michelle (kingkong)
4)rebekah (laoma)
5)wenlynn (croc)
6)isaac (can't say =X)
7)vivian (a girl)
8)laywoon (laojie)
9)audrey (hippo)
10)desmond (puibah)

18. Who is number 6 having a relationship with?
isaac, miaochun

19. Is number 9 male or female?
audrey, half hippo half gal ba

20. If number 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
vivian and desmond, uh they don't know each other??

21. What is number 2 studying about?
jinle, all the same as me (:

22. What kind of band does number 8 like?
laywoon, um dunno? shld be some talkative band ba

23. Does number 1 have any siblings?
david, yup deena

24. Will you woo no. 3?
*vomit vomit vomit vomit* damn i just cleaned up my dinner!

25. How about number 7?
Vivian, uh no comments

26. Is number 4 single?
rebekah, no! she with daryl

27. What is the surname of number 5?
wenlynn, hsu ba

28. What's the hobby of number 10?
desmond, watching porn?

29. Does number 5 and 9 get along well?
wenlynn and audrey, shld be ba they don't fight. but gals are just so unpredictable..X=

30. Where is number 2 studying at?
deyi sec, duhs!!!

31. Talk something casually about number 1.
david, PEANUT!!

32. Where does number 9 live at?
audrey, bishan there ba, close to desmond there

33. What colour does number 4 like?
rebekah, uh the colour of sharks?

34. Are number 5 and number 1 best friends?
wenlynn and david, oh they go much more than that!! *wink wink* XP

35. Does number 1 have any pets?
david, NO!!! he'll kill them!!

36. Is number 7 the sexiest person in the world?
vivian, uh no comments XP

37. What is number 6 doing now?
iz, emoing like always ba! haha!! XD

i finished the whole quiz in only 1 hour!! RAWR!!

we did nothing wrong
so why are you ignoring me?

2008-09-22T16:03:00.005+08:00

i dun noe y but her pic ended up 1st. michelle e king kong!
class photo MAD!
germaine's pretty big size, huh?
ms chan took this.
and this too. FORMAL.

crocodile wenlynn!
xianda XD
chidam the bigface!
zhonsheng e chaman!
douglas e duke of pokpok!

LOTS OF PICS TO POST TODAY!! today was picture-taking day so after the hall session with mrs chua, 409, 410 and 503 went to take pictures at the 3rd floor. dunnoi why, but super high!! after the picture taking thing went back to class and oso snapped quite alot of pics of ppl in our class. i tink i'm gg to collate everybody's pic and save it as a momento =). and WTF! i found out that laoma had another daughter, MDM tan lay woon. sian. after snapping all e pics den michelle the king kong karate chopped my neck where my apple is. WA! damn pain sia! i hope ur reading this king kong, but i cant talk now and i cant even 'angu angu' my niece la. fat monkey! oh well. now i go study le. alios!!

2008-09-20T21:15:00.003+08:00

watching tv..
still watching tv..
HAW HAW HAW!!!

dou ji yan! >.< i look cute don'y i? =)
acting emo?
basketball babe..
i'm sleeping!! dun make me!!

today went back school for physics remedial. it was FUN!! we did e glass block experiment and i knew how to do it! WONDERFUL!! went to eat at mac after that and then it was home. sad. i did'nt want to go home. but i needed to. bloody sod. real bloody sod. once i got home then immediately got scolded and ranted at. life sucks. well anyways, i got pics on my niece! check them out!!

it doesn't feel like before anymore.

seems like you've drifted away.

is it just me?

or is it you?

2008-09-19T19:31:00.006+08:00

THE GREAT DECAY - THE GREAT SPY EXPERIMENT

(chorus)

Well you turn when I talk
Run when I walk
Rise when I fall
Burn when I shiver
Smile when I frown
Go when I come around
You twist when I shout
In when i'm out
There when I'm here
Why do I bother?
Laugh when i'm down
Whine when I make a sound

It's Sunday, it’s Monday
It’s bloody everyday
You got me wanting out the door
It’s something, no it’s nothing
Yeah it’s everything you believe
You know I've heard it all before

(chorus)

When I'm near you
When I need you
Yeah that’s when you’re furthest away
What would it take to make you stay?
There’s someone, there’s no one
Well it seems like everyone
Got to see you yesterday

(chorus)
Yeah it’s Sunday
No it’s Monday
Oh it’s everyday
You got me wanting out the door
Yeah it’s something
No it’s nothing
Well it’s everything
You know I’ve heard it all before
Oh yeah I’ve heard it all before

2008-09-19T19:31:00.003+08:00

*yawn* damn tired today but darn fun! me n david were playing aeroplanes in class and the whole incident was really hilarious. but i don't feel like posting anything now cos super tired. so sorry! so will make this a super short post. den after tat when to buy crocodile's present. if ur reading this now crocodile, david actually wanted to buy roses and a heart-shaped toy to give you 1!
won't take ur time any longer now! tata~!

2008-09-18T15:30:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENLYNN THE CROCODILE!!!!!!
it's wenlynn's birthday today but i'm so busy now!!! so can't blog much! so sorry!

2008-09-17T19:22:00.004+08:00

At the very very start, i wasn't even
aware of her.
But as the nights grew longer, i felt incomplete
without her.
Now everytime i see her, i just want to reach out and
hold her.
And when she looks into my eyes i want to
kiss her.
Put my arms around her anf just
hug her.
Maybe after that we'll sit down and i'll
talk to her.
When she laughs, i'll
laugh with her.
when she speaks, i'll
listen to her.
And when she crys, i'll
cry with her.
I'll do my best to
know her
and
understand her.
She'll be unique forever and i'll
appreciate her.
Holding her in my arms, i will do my best to
protect her.
But one day i know that i will
hurt her.
And one way or another, i will
lose her.

2008-09-13T16:46:00.000+08:00

still can't sleep.
cos i'm thinking of her?

2008-09-13T15:07:00.002+08:00

today still sick but got go school. did em prelims paper ALL OVER again. see audrey! go sch still can study lo, not v noisy oso! XP
den after tat play ball for a while with ruiyuan n david and laoma. rebekah fell down! HAHAHA!! it was raining. and i still felt very cold. bot oh well. i won't die. not yet.
after that went to e band funfair. starting got nobody but soon more ppl came. den spent all e $20 coupon that david has ALL on FOOD. ah, bloody. i'm going to grow fat if i continue like this. =( forgot take pic so no pic to post. sorry. but there was almost NOTHING for the funfair. there was the haunted house but i dare not go in with rebekah. by the time i come out i would have lost an arm. i ate nuggets(they were quite nice), fishball(very hot), cookies, burnt AND hard potato wedges(for lack of a better word) and pasta with cold cheese and potato on top. oh well.
after that went eat mac den go play ball. 1st david vs kennard win 2-1. den i play with kennard. i won. but he was tired so not counted. den me and david vs kennard and weihao, we lost 6-7. but it was fun! =)
now at home need take panadol soon. sian. den lie alone on bed. den. sleep..

i don't _ her anymore. really don't anymore.

2008-09-12T19:17:00.003+08:00

i feel so cold. fever. *sniff sniff* plus running nose *sniff sniff* plus sore throat.
bloody sod.
need some warmth. *sniff sniff* bloody jinle. now wrapped in blankey. *sniff* wearing my biggest shirt and my comfiest pants *sniff sniff* plus my ultraman boxers =) *leaking tap*.
tomoro's *sniff* band funfair. maybe wan go maybe dun wan go. *sniff* now feel so darn cold *sniff sniff*. so gg take medicine and try sleep *sniff sniff* without taking sleeping pills. anyway have no more anymore *sniff*.

is it really like that?
everything i thought was real ending just like that?
or maybe it was'nt real at all.
bloody fuck. that's what david would say.

2008-09-11T15:48:00.001+08:00

there's something missing that i can't put in words.
damnnation be damned! ARGH!!
is what she said right? that i'm doing this?

2008-09-09T19:25:00.000+08:00

higamus hogamus,
woman is monogamus.
hogamus higamus,
man is polygamous.

2008-09-09T19:12:00.002+08:00

today was a fine day. ok, so wad if i was lying? everybody lies once in a while anyway. so just take in your stride and blardy move on. sod that.
i even managed to lie to myself today! i thought tat i only had 1 dollar left in my wallet and so i only used 1 dollar today after school. and actually i had 3 dollars in my wallet. argh. fuck. i'm running out of cash. again. stupid royce chocalates. bought 2 boxes just last week n it ate up 5o dollars. (in case ur wondering, no. i DID NOT buy them for a gal. i bought them for me, myself, i and moi so dun get e wrong idea)
den after sch i went play bball with dav, iz, des. den kennard popped up. so we played match. after tat, e 3 band majors popped up too and we played 4v4. iz left already. we lost but it was fun =). after THAT, kelvin n his frens came. i cant rmb hu, but i wasnt playing. was e lineman =).
nothing much after tat so now i'm blogging. i'g gg to destress soon after studying jus now, so alios!

2008-09-06T19:21:00.004+08:00

fucking idiots.
screaming and shouting at each other.
like the world's coming to an end.
spare a thought,
assholes.
every fucking wrong thing that happens.
it's caused by me.
ain't it?
so just blame it on me.
nobody cares anyways.
just the usual shit hitting the fan.
yawn.
nothing much, huh?
my very first mistake was to be born.
my second was to be breathing.
my third?
argh..
i can't remember no more.
no.
it doesn't hurt.
it's even got a warm fuzzy feeling.
ha.
the rest i can't remember.
maybe i don't want to.
but that just sounds so..
cliched.
my home's everywhere.
that red bench in the park.
the old stool by the corner.
and lets not forget,
the field at the stadium in the night so dark.
nobody'll look.
nobody'll see anything.
just lay there.
and soak up the rain.
or maybe drink a bottle or two,
if i can find them.
so just get a life.
and move on.
'cause i'm moving on too.
walking.
jogging.
running.
tonight.
and nobody'll miss me.