Tuesday, November 3, 2009 . 10:02:00 PM
i like lying on my bed doing nothing and just staring at the ceiling. i don't know why i suddenly want to type this. but it should be probably because i got nothing else inside my brain to say. it's feeling a bit empty today, so if you knock, you'll probably hear a hollow sound.i want to lock my posts. like a lot people knowing too many things. i don't like it. feels too un-intimate. i don't know? and i'm starting to read too much into things. although i guess it's always been there, but yeah. first time i've actually admitted it? i don't know? too many things flying past. like rocket liddat sia.
argh.
what the hell am i typing?? i dunno. this is so like a schizo's blog post. yea. i think so too.
i'm mad.
mmhmm.
it's quiet at home when no one's shouting. sometimes it gets too quiet. it should be nice, but it just feels downright weird. like it's just too quiet. maybe that's why i don't like coming back home. i'd rather stay in school where there are people.
i'm ranting.
how can some people share things so freely? i don't understand. i don't understand a lot of things. and i don't like that. i don't like ranting too. makes me feel out of control. but i should have gotten used to it no? i want to talk to somebody. but there's like nobody. and i think my interpersonal skills suck. like SERIOUSLY SUCK. i want to talk. but i don't know what to talk about. maybe i just want to listen to somebody. maybe that'll make me feel like i'm actually worth something. that somebody would actually want to talk to me.
heh.
what the hell man.
The why? The who, what?
When and where and the how?
Till I'm grabbing my hair and I'm tearing it out
You've been driving me crazy, I can't take it